TAG(lines) — You’re It!


Here are a few of my own Handy-esque “deep thoughts,” primarily some wordplay fun in tagline length from the past several weeks. If I bothered with a Twitter account, I suppose these below and those on my back pages of Tumblr would be my “Tweets of the Day.”

* * *

It’s said if you believe in nothing, you’ll fall for anything. On the other hand, if you believe a little bit in everything, you’ll fall for nothing in particular.

* * *
Do the math: Conservatives = Liberals - 1(♥)
* * *
Like the shoemaker’s elves, dreams are our overnight cobblers of the soul.

* * *

As much as I welcome a visit from the Muse, sure wish it wasn’t always in the wee wee hours of the morn. 

* * *

He was always in the middle of a whole-life crisis.
 

* * *

Thought he was trending hip, but his finger was on the pulse of a corpse.  

* * *

Why treat me shabbily when you can treat me to chablis?!

* * *

I yam what I yam, so I can’t be beet.

* * *

While “good Earth” contracts to “g’Earth,” the bounty from it often expands one’s girth.

* * *

Def Ignition of WFMU: A many Kentacled “Octopi Montgomery St.” cult. [And, just like fish, mollusks stink from the head down.]

Movie Sequel + Product Tie-in?



I suppose the follow-up to “World War Z” would be a ZzzQuil.

My Famous People Palindromes Per Sunday’s NPR Puzzle


[* begins and ends the actual palindrome to distinguish from any explanatory text]

Category = Long & Poetic (by

*  stressed star, Depp) Art: A Tone Poem / Time knits lives’ tab / A wolf-ewe flow / A bat’s evil stink emit / “Me ‘ope not a trapped rat’s desserts!”  *

[Quoth Jack Sparrow, “Nevermore!”]


###################################

Category = Multiple Famous Names

*  “Geordi, as Levar Burton, did not rub Ravel,” said Roeg.  *


*  Oh (nod) no! Levar Burton did not rub Ravel on Don Ho!  *

*  Now Edison, no Tesla. Usual set on, no side won.  *


########################################

Category = Headlines, or Short but not Sweet

*  Now Edison sees no side won.  *


*   Bardem: “Me drab”  *

Bacon sub sees bus, no cab.  *


*  At Sartre’s say, assert Rasta.  *

*  To Obama, I am a boot. 
or

*  Er, Obama, I am a bore.  *

* Degeneres did serene GED. *


*  Star Depp arts strapped, rats!  *

#####################################

Category = All Garbo (her birthday, 9-18, is date Shortz reads winners)


*  “You be film!” I’d so brag, ‘til I lit Garbo’s dim life buoy. *

*  Garbo’d emote to me, “Do brag!  *


Garbo’s a “sob rag.” *

*
  To Greta Garbo: Don’t
no, dobrag at ergot.  *

*  O, brag at, ergo, Greta Garbo. *

*
  Garbo’s star sees rat’s sob rag. *

Is Garbo “sob rag”? Si!  *

Do, Greta Garbo
don’t no, do brag at, er, God.  *

######################################

Category = Also-rans & Variations on a Theme

*  Not now tressed star, Depp: “Art trapped rat’s dessert wonton.”  *

My, no, Peter Fonda had no fret eponym.  *


So, Peter Fonda had no fret epos.  *

Liam Neeson, emote to me, “No seen mail!”  *

No, Levar Burton did not rub ravel on.  *

*  Star Levar Burton did not rub Ravel, rats!  *

*  Oh, no, Levar Burton did not rub Ravel on ho!  *

Nashville Kat


My country cousin, Twavis Twit, and his bluegrass band, Ear Juice, asked me for some song ideas the other day. I came up with these:

Stop Scrapin’ the Scab Off My Healin’ Heart, Honey 

Hardheaded Against Hard Hearts

I’d Rather Be a Recluse Than Be a Loose Wreck

The Angels Wanna Wear My Blue Suede Shoes

 © KAM

The Shape of Things to Come


A robotics researcher named Wally
Built a robot bombshell he dubbed “Dolly”
   With a bountiful baud;
   But his jealous wife, Maud,
Removed baud-y bits, now it’s “Ollie.”

Then to make Wally jealous, Maud bought
A robot called “Rod Megawatt.”
   She’s so hot for her Rod,
   Wally queried of Maud:
"Just what hath Rod got that I’ve not?!"

© KAM

Def ignition for the Jung and the restless


Freudian Slips: The Underwear of Ideas
                                          
 © KAM

Downbeat Tags [Cont.]


Filled with angst and wondering why my ex is tense.

Friday’s Child in a Wednesday World.

I seized the day, but it struggled free and slapped me in the face.

© KAM

Post-election depression tags


Penned these taglines a dozen years ago originally, but the more things change….


Like lemmings happy to Rush out on a Limbaugh…humbug!

They bought the whole nine yards from bolts of whole cloth.

Earthworm movement against grassroots organization is underfoot!

                        
© KAM

Apt Tag



Wouldn’t feel like a pincushion if the world weren’t so full of pricks.  

© KAM

Limerepic


The following was written in the mid-’80s and has been published a few places, including the maiden issue of “Light,” a magazine of light verse and humor [alongside a contribution by none other than John Updike!).

An alternative subtitle for this multi-stanza limerick is “Boning Up on Your Shakespeare,” which is better understood after you read it.

BALLAD OF THE BARD (or, “Will Hath-not-a-way with Anne”)

Will’s newlywed wife was distraught,
So A LOVER’S COMPLAINT she upbrought:
   “I do WHAT YOU WILL,
   AS YOU LIKE IT and still
Thy rod and Falstaff comfort naught.”

"If thy MEASURE FOR MEASURE’s oblique,
'Tis thy four plays before that be weak
   ‘Spite a fine frontispiece
   For the RAPE OF LUCRECE.”
Then she brought his bare bodkin to cheek.

"To be or to not!" she did scream.
All the HAMLET could hear it would seem:
   “A pill of grim passion
   Is not what I fashion
To be A MIDSUMMER NIGHT’S DREAM!”

Their TWELFTH NIGHT of marriage drew nigh:
"Something Moor," said dear Anne with a sigh.
   “If thou shew me the skill
   Thou possesseth with quill,
What a merry young wife would be I!”

© KAM