Def Ignitions 2


Cosmetication: Mood makeup and concealer of the true blue you [E.g.: Nobody likes a sad sack, so go pop a Prozac!]

Concoction: A very big shell sale


Whiz Kid

 Poor Richard’s Rung Cycle

When Herr Wagner was no longer young,
Eine Hode was still hardly hung.
s a teen top a ladder,
   He emptied his bladder

And slipped off the Götterdämmerung.


Sales Tags


Her bad timing was bottled and sold in Zürich as a novelty item.

He merchandised his issue-waffling, and it sold like hotcakes.


Kicking off 2011 with a bang

Very cheeky, yes, but hardly homophobic. It’s purely homophonic pun funning in this second nod to silver-quilled Will. Shakespeare scholars know what a big-time bawdster he was the Bard was also the Bawd of Avon and he’d appreciate a limerick chock-a-block with references to his work. So while Sarah would, William would never “refudiate” the rhyme below. And while any major dude would probably post without preface or apology, I’m a lass and alack that male cockiness. For better or verse, it is my asterisk and as graphic as it gets here.

Shakespeare Innuendo

'Twas a pederast faerie named Puck
Picked the Titus Snug Bottom to f*ck
   And by prick in that bum,
Did this wicked way come;

But his Love’s Labour’s Lost, cuz he’s stuck!


Homophonic Composure II

On the Marrakesh Express, it’s easy to spot the loco motive in this train of thought:

My Moroccan friend, Benjam, is smitten
By wanderlust, thus I have written:
   Segovia Spain,
   Khachaturian train,
'Ere long you'll be, Benjam, in Britten.

                                     © KAM

Shine On

When finally their minds’ eyes met, it was love at second sight.


Handel’s Bar

The result of some nasty Bartok

Was a Mahler’s Fauré Offenbach.
   “Now aren’t these Menotti,”
   Said Handel Scarlatti,
"Haydn these Sessions in Bach!"


Nashville Kat

My country cousin, Twavis Twit, and his bluegrass band, Ear Juice, asked me for some song ideas the other day. I came up with these:

Stop Scrapin’ the Scab Off My Healin’ Heart, Honey 

Hardheaded Against Hard Hearts

I’d Rather Be a Recluse Than Be a Loose Wreck

The Angels Wanna Wear My Blue Suede Shoes

 © KAM

Eine Kleine Nacht Fugue

Sprach die junge Frau Bach to her spouse:
Ich krank of your fugueing heraus;
   Mach your fugueing herein,
   Und maybe you’ll find
Some more kleinen Bachs in den Haus!”


Def ignition for the Jung and the restless

Freudian Slips: The Underwear of Ideas
 © KAM