collaboration with jtlindroos

collaboration with jtlindroos

June 15, 2014 Happy Father’s Day to all you daddy-o’s out in SoundCloudland! Had it in mind a while to develop a song around a cool kitten copy editor, Grammar Puss, and the village wordsmithy, Wilder Witt III, her cool cat cunning linguist. I would jot down a lyric once in a while but couldn’t settle on a style to deliver the song. I was leaning toward Minnie’s “If You See My Rooster” or Simone’s “I Want a Little Sugar in My Bowl,” but even if my suggestive lyrics are up their alleys, my pipes clearly are not. I was considering something more Eartha-ly coKitt-ish when, out of the blue, a notion of doo-wop style landed in my lap or thereabouts. Wasn’t certain if it would work well with my words, but in the end I actually appreciate the dissonance of double entendre lyrics set in a sweetly innocent musical genre.  My instrumentation includes the usual suspects but might mention I contributed the “bum-bum-bum-bum” vocal low notes. I tried using a REAPER effect to take it down another octave where I actually wanted it, but it just didn’t sound right. The shuffling drum track and closed-hat chorus beats are off of a Zoom RhythmTrak machine JT (Philo) got for me. Sure hope this brings a smile to all you super cool cats and kittens out there! xxxooo Play on Words (Doo-wop You Do to Me) You have a way with words, as well this kitten knows. You went from good to verse, perfected purple prose. You know that iamb ode beside your syncopated beat.  Tease me with your wordplay, you cunning linguist you. Take poetic license, show me all your quill can do. No syntax will be levied on our nothings whispered sweet.  BRIDGE: Your mighty pen is stirring Now your grammar puss is purring Hear my haiku-ing out in delight We’ll form a bona fide couplet tonight!  You’re just my typeface (comic sans), a font of fun The way you simile like a brightly burning sun. ☼ Your dangling participle is my favorite part of speech.  BRIDGE: Your mighty pen is stirring Now your grammar puss is purring  Hear my haiku-ing out in delight We formed a bona fide couplet tonight!  We doubled our entendres, and you rapped me in your rhyme. Your assonance so tight can parse me any time. Your irony is hot again, it’s time to steam the sheets…. …with our blended body heat.  Written, performed, recorded and produced by Kathleen Martin [June 14, 2014] Cover art/design by JT Lindroos



June 15, 2014

Happy Father’s Day to all you daddy-o’s out in SoundCloudland!

Had it in mind a while to develop a song around a cool kitten copy editor, Grammar Puss, and the village wordsmithy, Wilder Witt III, her cool cat cunning linguist. I would jot down a lyric once in a while but couldn’t settle on a style to deliver the song. I was leaning toward Minnie’s “If You See My Rooster” or Simone’s “I Want a Little Sugar in My Bowl,” but even if my suggestive lyrics are up their alleys, my pipes clearly are not. I was considering something more Eartha-ly coKitt-ish when, out of the blue, a notion of doo-wop style landed in my lap or thereabouts. Wasn’t certain if it would work well with my words, but in the end I actually appreciate the dissonance of double entendre lyrics set in a sweetly innocent musical genre.

My instrumentation includes the usual suspects but might mention I contributed the “bum-bum-bum-bum” vocal low notes. I tried using a REAPER effect to take it down another octave where I actually wanted it, but it just didn’t sound right. The shuffling drum track and closed-hat chorus beats are off of a Zoom RhythmTrak machine JT (Philo) got for me. Sure hope this brings a smile to all you super cool cats and kittens out there! xxxooo

Play on Words (Doo-wop You Do to Me)

You have a way with words, as well this kitten knows.
You went from good to verse, perfected purple prose.
You know that iamb ode beside your syncopated beat.

Tease me with your wordplay, you cunning linguist you.
Take poetic license, show me all your quill can do.
No syntax will be levied on our nothings whispered sweet.

BRIDGE: Your mighty pen is stirring
Now your grammar puss is purring
Hear my haiku-ing out in delight
We’ll form a bona fide couplet tonight!

You’re just my typeface (comic sans), a font of fun
The way you simile like a brightly burning sun. ☼
Your dangling participle is my favorite part of speech.

BRIDGE: Your mighty pen is stirring
Now your grammar puss is purring
Hear my haiku-ing out in delight
We formed a bona fide couplet tonight!

We doubled our entendres, and you rapped me in your rhyme.
Your assonance so tight can parse me any time.
Your irony is hot again, it’s time to steam the sheets….
…with our blended body heat.

Written, performed, recorded and produced by Kathleen Martin [June 14, 2014]
Cover art/design by JT Lindroos

TAG(lines) — You’re It!


Here are a few of my own Handy-esque “deep thoughts,” primarily some wordplay fun in tagline length from the past several weeks. If I bothered with a Twitter account, I suppose these below and those on my back pages of Tumblr would be my “Tweets of the Day.”

* * *

It’s said if you believe in nothing, you’ll fall for anything. On the other hand, if you believe a little bit in everything, you’ll fall for nothing in particular.

* * *
Do the math: Conservatives = Liberals - 1(♥)
* * *
Like the shoemaker’s elves, dreams are our overnight cobblers of the soul.

* * *

As much as I welcome a visit from the Muse, sure wish it wasn’t always in the wee wee hours of the morn. 

* * *

He was always in the middle of a whole-life crisis.
 

* * *

Thought he was trending hip, but his finger was on the pulse of a corpse.  

* * *

Why treat me shabbily when you can treat me to chablis?!

* * *

I yam what I yam, so I can’t be beet.

* * *

While “good Earth” contracts to “g’Earth,” the bounty from it often expands one’s girth.

* * *

Def Ignition of WFMU: A many Kentacled “Octopi Montgomery St.” cult. [And, just like fish, mollusks stink from the head down.]

H2O for Lack of CO³



The First Lady’s advice about sufficient hydration should be heeded in particular now, because the Tea Bag (er, Party) Republicans are sucking US citizens dry.

Movie Sequel + Product Tie-in?



I suppose the follow-up to “World War Z” would be a ZzzQuil.

Shortz Cuts + Spoonerisms


Sigh. Unfortunately true to form, Will Shortz selected exclusively male entries to read aloud in his January 2012 creative wordplay challenge yet again [see post just below this one]. I received this comment directly from him: “the overwhelming number of entries come from men rather than women, so you shouldn’t expect a 50/50 outcome." I’ve already granted greater numbers from men as being plausible, but that shouldn’t preclude any woman ever winning one of his special wordplay challenges — or from being read aloud as a runner-up at the very least! My guess is, like myself, female participants have continually dropped out, not bothering to submit their creations knowing it will be only men who are read and will win in the end. He also noted to me and said on Sunday’s program that he asked his staff’s opinion of his entry choices, but how many options were they shown to choose from and, more importantly, were they also given creations by women for comparison, or just the male runners-up he selected? It is encouraging Shortz asked for any supporting opinion at all since he clearly stated in both the January 15th and January 22nd programs that winning and runner-up entries would be based on his decision alone. On the other hand, it is truly discouraging if his staff all agreed on this rather lame entry — “The Nanny Lost All My Children” — as the most clean+clever offering to his TV title wordplay challenge. I mean, really?!

Ladies out there, I hope you are still challenging your minds with his puzzles and posting them somewhere if only to friends and relatives. Consider it the program’s loss, not yours, and keep on proving Hitchens and Shortz wrong! Since I’m posting his puzzle challenges here anyway [see my one already at http://kat330.tumblr.com/post/9931461611/my-famous-people-palindromes-per-sundays-npr-puzzle], I figured I’d go back to post some wordplay I submitted before I even started this space in late 2010. Here below then are my creations submitted to NPR’s “Weekend Edition Sunday” in July 2010. Shortz’ listener challenge was to create clever Spoonerisms in answer to a “What’s the difference between…” setup:


What’s the difference between a fish dinner and half a lobster?
    One has coleslaw and the other a sole claw.

What’s the difference between a garage and the speed of woo?
    One has a parking space and the other a sparking pace.

What’s the difference between a skillet and a stalker?
    One is a frying pan and the other a prying fan.

What’s the difference between golf attire and a mad dash?
    One’s a sport shirt and the other a short spurt.

What’s the difference between a place to stage dive and a diva’s sequined glove?
    One is a mosh pit and the other a posh mitt.

What’s the difference between a charity and a lump in the throat?
    One is a positive cause and the other a causative pause.

What’s the difference between a gunslinger saloon and a Tupperware party?
    One has a hitching post and the other a pitching host.

What’s the difference between a southern sport on the sea and a northern pick for VP?
    One is parasailin’ and the other Sarah Palin.

What’s the difference between a slumber party and a bachelor party?
    One might be a tickle fest and the other might be a fickle test.

What’s the difference between a sucker and a casino dealer?
    One is hard candy and the other is card handy.

What’s the difference between a tycoon and a playboy?
    One has money bags and the other has Bunny mags.

What’s the difference between a life trainer and a trained assassin?
    One offers coping skills and the other is scoping kills.

What’s the difference between an illusionist and a drunk driver?
    One does magic tricks and the other is a tragic mix.

Puzzling Why Will Shortz Women


Where there’s Will, there’s no way? At least I’ve personally never heard a creative challenge puzzle submitted by a woman ever declared a winner—or even acknowledged a runner-up—when chosen by Will Shortz and aired on NPR’s “Weekend Edition Sunday.” Now I’m sure I’ve missed some names of his subjectively selected champs over the years, but rarely in recent years; and, in my experience, I’ve heard only clearly male names ascribed to creative entries he personally picks and reads aloud.

Even given a greater number of male submissions (if that’s so), that zero result for females over the years seems inexplicably skewed. Maybe Mr. Shortz agrees with Christopher Hitchens that women just can’t be funny, witty or even clever? Maybe it deserves deeper analysis. I surely don’t know but, instead of submitting entries under a gender-neutral alias, I’ve decided to post my creations here exclusively now whenever I try my hand at one of his wordplay challenges. I’d love it if my temporary “boycott” acts as some sort of anti-jinx, so that one of these Sundays soon—maybe even the one upcoming!—I’ll finally hear a fellow female named as Will’s winner.

So here are my offerings pertaining to his current (January 15, 2012) creative challenge: String together titles of television shows to form sensible sentences. He asked that the show titles be better known ones and that adherence to proper syntax is a key attribute. He noted he’ll read his picks on January 29th:

That Girl, The Office Gossip Girl, Lost 24 Bosom Buddies According to Jim; Now New Girl Numb3rs 30-Something Extra Friends.

Dateline Jersey Shore, Unforgettable Police Story: Miami Vice Cops Lost Prison Break Numb3rs Person of Interest, A Man Called Hawk, The Fugitive Prime Suspect Now Missing Without a Trace; Saved by the Bell, Family Survivor (Charlie Rose) Beat the Clock Caged Up All Night, Raising Hope Brothers and Sisters Stay Lucky Hidden Six Feet Under.

Up All Night Moonlighting, Charlie Rose Extra Lost, Grimm—Once Upon a Time A Gifted Man Now Keeping Up Appearances—Breaking Bad One Day at a Time To Tell the Truth.

Father Knows Best Life Rules of Engagement: Get Smart, Chuck The Paper Chase, Wipeout The Wire, Smash Secrets and Lies The F.B.I. Files, Expose Hidden Body of Proof, Follow the Sun, Race to Save the Planet, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Get a Life, Love Thy Neighbour, Access Hollywood Star, Search Lost Friends, Touch Unforgettable New Girl, House The Good Wife, Live to Dance, MASH Up All Night, Stay Lucky!

My Famous People Palindromes Per Sunday’s NPR Puzzle


[* begins and ends the actual palindrome to distinguish from any explanatory text]

Category = Long & Poetic (by

*  stressed star, Depp) Art: A Tone Poem / Time knits lives’ tab / A wolf-ewe flow / A bat’s evil stink emit / “Me ‘ope not a trapped rat’s desserts!”  *

[Quoth Jack Sparrow, “Nevermore!”]


###################################

Category = Multiple Famous Names

*  “Geordi, as Levar Burton, did not rub Ravel,” said Roeg.  *


*  Oh (nod) no! Levar Burton did not rub Ravel on Don Ho!  *

*  Now Edison, no Tesla. Usual set on, no side won.  *


########################################

Category = Headlines, or Short but not Sweet

*  Now Edison sees no side won.  *


*   Bardem: “Me drab”  *

Bacon sub sees bus, no cab.  *


*  At Sartre’s say, assert Rasta.  *

*  To Obama, I am a boot. 
or

*  Er, Obama, I am a bore.  *

* Degeneres did serene GED. *


*  Star Depp arts strapped, rats!  *

#####################################

Category = All Garbo (her birthday, 9-18, is date Shortz reads winners)


*  “You be film!” I’d so brag, ‘til I lit Garbo’s dim life buoy. *

*  Garbo’d emote to me, “Do brag!  *


Garbo’s a “sob rag.” *

*
  To Greta Garbo: Don’t
no, dobrag at ergot.  *

*  O, brag at, ergo, Greta Garbo. *

*
  Garbo’s star sees rat’s sob rag. *

Is Garbo “sob rag”? Si!  *

Do, Greta Garbo
don’t no, do brag at, er, God.  *

######################################

Category = Also-rans & Variations on a Theme

*  Not now tressed star, Depp: “Art trapped rat’s dessert wonton.”  *

My, no, Peter Fonda had no fret eponym.  *


So, Peter Fonda had no fret epos.  *

Liam Neeson, emote to me, “No seen mail!”  *

No, Levar Burton did not rub ravel on.  *

*  Star Levar Burton did not rub Ravel, rats!  *

*  Oh, no, Levar Burton did not rub Ravel on ho!  *

Flame Retardant [From the K Ching]


If you persevere in fanning lame flame,
you only make ash of yourself.

© KAM  Netiquette for an Asocial Network

Kurt and to the Point


—————————-

For wampeters and fellow Vonnegut fans:


Sheesh, Bokonon, not another pain in the karass ?!


KAM  Netiquette Tags for an Asocial Network]